it is rainy today. I might stay in my room and have alone time all day. I am sore from exercising the past few days, ultimate squats. Hopefully I will draw today, as well as I need to shower and clean my room(which is all of about 7ft by 7ft). I will try not to stress about my teeth falling out, vision problems, or anything else this day. Sometimes things are really good but the amount of stimulus and stress I’ve been receiving is mighty.
My 16 year old self would be so impressed/unimpressed with my hair choices. I am probably going to fill my hair in dark soon so I decided to pretend like I was not an adult for a bit longer.
italian lawn bowling! Barbeque! day drunk!
So sad that some of my favourite followers/bloggers on tumblr seem to have gone awol. I never knew your names, how am I supposed to find you???
It’s a black milk knock off that I found at my local derby/rockabilly shop, the cocoon bout-ique, and yes I do but they aren’t going up online.
trying to re-learn the ukelelee ah
why oh why can I not call into work ‘depression’
Feeling extremely dangerously self destructive, I actually finally(been a few weeks) made it through a full day yesterday on my meal plan but today I feel very angry, childish, like blowing up. I feel as if I deserve nothing. I don’t think i can be like this and have people in my life. I would be a burden on anyone I cared about or will always become a chore.
I thought maybe things could be better, but the moment anyone sees me like this I’ve ruined it but the bad feelings settle in again like dust whenever they like and I can’t risk someone leaving/seeing me in those vulnerable moments so I must make my heart steel and likely close this bar down. Lone wolf heart distance when there is none to see but I am far away
Straight up fancy pizzas made on bakery dough or sausage rolls. I don’t like sweets so it’s obvious I’ll go for savoury but damn son. Also just the white bread is amazing.